Friday, January 29, 2010

CI #61 -- 2010 Census


Are we really still walking around, counting people?


It's been a thousand years since the Middle Ages, and the only advancement in our methods is dropping the "hear ye."

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

CI #60 -- My street's Cable/Power/Phone/Whatever-the-hell-it-is Infrastructure

*** UPDATED AT THE BOTTOM ***

One of the first things I noticed after moving onto my street 5 years ago was that the lady from across the street comes over to my side to feed the pigeons, resulting in massive amounts of pigeon poop near my door. Meanwhile, hers remains relatively unsoiled. Thanks, lady.

The second thing I noticed was all the friggin' wires. Take, for instance, all these friggin' wires.


Or all these friggin' wires.


I'm no engineer, but this can't possibly be safe. At the very least, it's an urban blight masquerading as a public safety hazard. At best, it's a lame blog post. Wires are meant to go somewhere, not hang into space. That's what wires do, go places, right?

I have no idea what these cables/wires do. If I were a smarter or more motivated person, I could probably do some extensive research, after which I'd conclude something like "This is what happens with privatization." So I guess I'll never know.

However, I do know what these cables are. They're my building's Cable cables.

CI #59 -- Things that look like Florida

Curious Question: What looks like Florida?


This does. But it also kind of looks like a gun, which reminds me of my ready-to-go tourism slogan, should the state ever need one:

Florida: It looks like a gun!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

CI #58 -- Food Recalls


Last week, the USDA announced a recall of 864,000 pounds of beef that was tainted with e. coli dating back to February 2008.

Man, we got right on that one, didn't we? Any time you get into the 40 tons range, you know it's serious.

So, um, don't eat any of that tainted beef that you, -- already ate. How are we not better at tracking this stuff?

Oh, that July 4th party you were planning on having? You shouldn't have had it. No, not this year. Well, this year too, but also last year.

It's unfair that a phrase meaning something so bad -- tainted beef -- has such a funny name. It sounds like a race horse: "TAINTED BEEF! COMING AROUND THE OUTSIDE, TAINTED BEEF! PULLING TO THE FRONT OF THE PACK, TAINTED BEEF!..." In fact, the tainted beef might be a race horse. Sometimes the truth hurts.

Whenever there's a food recall, there's always a news piece where they tell you how you can get a refund, as if getting your $5.95 back will make up for days and days of violent diarrhea.

Wow, when I got my money back, it made me completely forget about the chills, vomiting, dizziness, and general misery.

And don't worry; if you happened to die from the e.coli-tainted beef, the rebate will go straight to your estate. With 2-years' interest, that comes to $6.11, so there really aren't any losers here.