When you move to New York from anywhere outside the greater Tri-State area, you come to learn that there are two types of reactions from people back home.
Some find New York and your life there infinitely fascinating and exciting. Meanwhile, others -- who refuse to let go of the fact that NYC is no longer the same city that it was in Taxi Driver -- are basically counting the days until you tell them a pigeon pooped on your face and then stole your wallet.
Exchanges with the latter usually go like this:
EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBER: How are you enjoying the big city? Still big and dirty?
GREG: I really enjoy it actually. In many ways, it's a nice place to live.
EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBER: (disappointed and skeptical) Uhhhh-huh...
GREG: Well, I did see a crack bust in Central Park in broad daylight [I didn't]
EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBER: See, I told you it was a terrible place!
It makes me wonder, What do you want from me, people? New York is actually one of the cleanest, safest big cities in the world.
I think they want something like this story, which is indeed true. I now finally have a story to please the NY skeptics:
