Wednesday, November 18, 2009

CI #38 -- Pleasure Cruises

I'm headed this weekend to my first ever cruise. It's such an odd way to get away -- confining yourself to a boat for an extended period of time, but I'm really looking forward to it.

It seems that cruises are part remote resort hotel, part Las Vegas, and part summer camp (with both the pros and cons of the aforementioned).

Still inspired from my friend's marathon run, I've decided to set myself a goal: drink at least one alcoholic beverage in every place that will serve it. By my count, there are eleven aboard the Ecstasy (yep, that's what it's called).

Since I have yet to actually investigate this curious item, I'll leave you with a few questions to which I seek answers:

- What are the chances we'll be attacked by pirates in the Caribbean?
- If one is going to get intoxicated and toss oneself overboard, where is the best location to do so?
- If the captain falls ill, can the ship be piloted by a savvy video game player or gristly 'Nam vet?
- Does the captain ever utter the phrase, "Set a course for fun!"?
- How many keys are required to release the nuclear torpedos?
- I see that your cruise line is named "Carnival." What level of Freak can I look forward to?
- If we are indeed attacked by pirates, can I take a shot at one of them?
- Will there be souffles? What is a souffle?
- Do emotional scars from prior relationships count as "excess baggage"?

Bon voyage! Wait, that's your line.

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