Tuesday, April 27, 2010

CI #81 -- Arizona's New Immigration Policy

[Editor's note: Finally, an excuse to use an actual file photo*]

A couple questions about it. It's a joke, right? Any day now, they're going to say "Ha ha, fooled you!" and break out pinatas and guac and have a fiesta in the calle, right? If so, good one, Arizona.

Aren't most people in this country immigrants, including people who walked over a land bridge and then were given bridge-sized land to live in? I'm pretty sure that's true. Okay, just checking. Or maybe every single fact in the history books is incorrect.

And I've been wondering, Is there any correlation between this new "immigration" policy and poor penmanship?


*I actually took this photo in Georgia in 2008, but I think it still "works."

Friday, April 23, 2010

CI #80 -- The Dream

What is The Dream?

Last night, Katie and I decided it was having your own baby orangutan. That's The Dream.

More specifically, The Dream is getting your own baby orangutan through some sort of bizarre circumstances that justify it (kind of how it makes it okay to have a dog in a tiny NY apartment if said canine is from a shelter).

Like, for example, a baby orangutan has been abandoned in the wild -- its chances of survival slim -- and every single ecological and zoological agency in the entire world is cash-strapped with its hands full.

They simply don't have room for one more baby orangutan. Then you get The Call. Boom: your very own baby orangutan.

The origin of The Dream was actually the origin of Man. We were watching a BBC nature program called Food For Thought, which parallels the steps of human evolution with species still alive today.

That's where The Dream came from. Then, just as quickly as The Dream was given to us, it was jerked away as we stared at violent images of chimpanzees hunting and eating rhesus monkeys.

"I don't want a baby orangutan anymore," Katie said. I was speechless. And neither of us will ever live or want to live The Dream.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

CI # 79 -- Twitter

I'm over it. Or maybe I'm not because I would have to have been under it or on it first.

I was recently scrolling through my feed when I realized how bored I was scrolling through my feed. After reading one Tweet from someone I follow, I actually said to myself "Wait, 'he' is doing it wrong!"

[Don't try to figure out who it was. I finally stopped following "him."]. But is there a "right" way to use Twitter?

I don't really think so, and I guess that's what's good and bad about it. Twitter is to you whatever you want it to be. Right now it's something that bores me. Perhaps that says more about me than it does about Twitter. I'm fine with that.

As a "media professional," I'm constantly reminded that "Oh, you've got to be Tweeting, man. You're expected to do it these days." Maybe my lack of incessant Tweeting is actually hurting me. "I see here on your resume that you've only Tweeted 943 times... Hmm..."

Or maybe I'm just getting "old." If you want to play along like me, intermittently, you can follow my slow aging process at http://twitter.com/Voltothetron.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

CI #78 -- TV Job Market

As a marginally employed TV professional, I must be an idiot. Here I am thinking that TV jobs are hard to get, but What do I know?

Apparently all I have to do is hook up with "New Direction TV and Films," who are "looking for the best new TV scripts to showcased to the world."

I have a great sitcoms pilott featuring bacon, vampires, Snuggies and Joel Mcale from tvs The Soup. Will you showcased it for me? Also, what's your theories of the future? And when will it comes thx