Sunday, August 23, 2009

CI #11 -- True Blood (via "Mine," Season 1 Episode 3)

In discussions with friends yesterday, we decided that Pirate was the new Ninja; Viking was an interesting flash-in-the-pan; and Bacon, which has already become passe, is the new Pirate. And all of these things are bad for you, except perhaps certain ninjas, like American ones.

Notice anything missing? ... Yes, of course: Vampire, which is so hot right now in a different way. And that leads me to the first and only episode of True Blood I've seen.

I won't attempt to make any kind of evaluation of the series as a whole. One thing I know for sure though is that if I do watch another episode, this one will determine how I view it.

Consider the following exchange, taking place between the ultimate star-crossed lovers, Southern Belle "Sookie" (Anna Paquin), who can for some reason read people's minds, and Vampire "Bill" (Stephen Moyer), who has startled her by showing up all vampire-y and unexpected on her porch:

Sookie: Why can't I hear your thoughts? ... (long pause) Do you
have any thoughts?

Bill: Oh, I have thoughts. Many lifetimes of thoughts.

Now I admittedly know very little about vampires. I've never seen any version of "Dracula" all the way through, never read the novel, and never read or seen any of the "Twilight" series. I've never even had so much as a bowl of Count Chocula. Still, I find it hard to believe that the burning question on anyone's mind was ever (cq) "Do Vampires have thoughts?"

They have to, right? If they don't, they're reduced to shark-like robots. "Oh, look there's a juicy human I want it wait I can't I'm full oh look there's a juicy human oh wait that's the one I just decided I couldn't suck on, speaking of suck on, I'd sure like to suck on some human, oh wait, it's daytime I should wait until later, but while I wait, I'd love to enjoy some nice, fresh blood and oh, seriously? I've seen this episode of Family Guy like a million times..." and so on.

Okay, so those were still thoughts. But that's my point exactly. I'm not saying you're bad, True Blood, but you've made an irreversible first impression for the entire series.

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