Monday, December 21, 2009

CI #45 -- Dominick the Donkey

This time of year all we ever hear about is Rudolph and his unbelievably red nose. Rudolf, Rudolf, Rudolf. At least that's all I ever heard about growing up.

Being raised in the WASP-y South, I didn't know there was another option for underdog Christmas mascots. Well there is, and he's much more likely to be found hanging out with Sinatra than Rudolf could ever hope for. Suck it, Rudy.

He is Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey, and I'm kicking myself for not switching to Team Dominick sooner. Behold.

Why do we need Dominick The Donkey?

If you listened to the song, you'd know it's because reindeer can't climb mountains. [Just to review, they mastered the flying -- still working on the climbing]

Speaking of questions, what about him makes him Italian? I'm wondering if the corellation between "Italian" and "Christmas donkey" is arbitrary?

He speaks the language. You shouldn't ask so many questions.

Now I'm calling BS because I think maybe they just took "Italian" and stuck a random animal species behind it to make a song.

That's not a question, and you are a cynical bastard. It makes complete sense. In fact research shows there have been several similar but less successful Christmas mascots.

They include:

Seamus, the Irish Christmas Hedgehog
Manuel, the Colombian Christmas Drug Mule [not an actual mule]
Boudreax, the Cajun Christmas Crawdad
Ned, the vaguely ethnic Boll Weevil

See? Perfectly logical. You should be ashamed of yourself.

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