Friday, September 17, 2010

CI #98 -- Swimming pool

I was talking with some friends the other night, and the discussion evolved (devolved?) into long-term quality of life issues. I think we'd all like to own a house at some point and possibly have 2.5 kids (minivan, picket fence, pressure washer negotiable).

And unless we get our own reality show or become a science teacher and start cooking meth (neither are recommended), we realized there's a pretty good chance we'll have to leave New York to do it.

(For the record, I find the ability to even choose to do this is a luxury. Also, remember of course that if you choose not to decide, you still have made a CHOYCE!)

All of a sudden, we were playing house. It was so cute. No, actually it was nauseating. (Someone please play Kill 'em All stat!) But the subject of a pool came up.

And I wondered, Is it wrong that I'm totally up for having kids but don't want the responsibility of a pool?

Before you decide, at least hear me out.

"Kickass, a pool!"

First of all, you have to skim it. Like like every other day or something. See? I don't even know. There's one more thing I have to look up and then do. I'm guessing that you also have to make sure it gets the proper chemicals at appropriate times -- maybe even multiple times a day.

Don't even get me started on what happens if you go out of town. So you might as well forget that. Of course you're going to have to up your liability insurance in case some idiot stumbles in and can't swim. What a headache. And expensive too.

Then inevitably, after dealing with it day-in-day-out for years, you're going to decide: You know what? I hate this. And either get rid of it or hire someone to do all that work for you.

"Someone please take this damn thing off my hands."

No thanks. I'll go to the Y.


  1. I think it's a different kind of responsibility. You can't park a pool in front of the TV and tell it to skim itself.

  2. On one hand, we could just get a pool boy. But on the other hand, the chance of your pool being overrun by goldfish is overwhelming. You need to factor that in.